the internet
i've been thinking a lot about the internet. i have an internet addiction. it's a bit of an issue. i never leave my computer except when i'm sleeping or eating. even when i'm busy with something else, i have my phone open. it's a bit of an issue...
the thing i like the most about the internet is that it is easy to connect with people. much easier than it is in real life. but as easy as it is to connect with others online, it's also very easy to cut people off. that makes me a bit sad.
friendships, especially on the internet, are a bit shallow i think. you can't see the other person's face, so that plays a big role into how you perceive the person. when two people can't see each other, they automatically fill the gaps in their heads with what they want to think. i have met so many online friends who, upon telling them i was a poc, were surprised. they'd always thought i was white. when you see who's really behind the screen, you feel a little disappointed.
the internet scares me a bit. because we can't see each other, it's easy to misinterpret one another. sometimes, whenever i'm making a post, i feel anxious because what if someone sees it and takes it the wrong way? what if they screenshot it? what if they share it to all their friends and make fun of me in private? one time, i used one of those websites that lets you see how many people blocked you. 100 people and counting had me blocked. it made me a little sad, because 90% of those people were accounts i'd never seen in my life. what had i done for them to perceive me negatively?
the internet makes it so easy to change your personality at the drop of a hat and remain anonymous, but is that really best? so much hatred fosters online just because we cannot see each other. sometimes, when i receive hateful messages, i can't help but wonder if the person who'd typed that up would have had the guts to say that offline and to my face.
i don't know what i'm trying to say with this, really... i'm very sleepy, but i don't want to sleep yet. i just wish we could be a little more kinder to one another, especially when you don't know who you're really talking to...