ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
i have decided to stop being aya, which isn't to say i'm necessarily going to change my name or kill myself or whatever, but i am just going to stop being the person i was before.
i have decided to stop fooling myself into believing in signs and wonders and that i am strong enough to change my reality, because i'm not and i can't. sometimes, there is no reason to why certain things happen, and no matter how hard you wish, they won't change, so it's better not to waste time dwelling on them.
i have decided to stop forcing myself into believing i can take the bull by the horns, because what if the bull attacks you? then what do you do?
i have decided to change everyone's perception of "me", so that everyone will remember only the good. i want to smoothly transition and leave my "before", so that everyone will only remember my "after".
i have decided to change, hopefully for the better.